The SQUIP Initiative
by averagetoaster
Summary: In order to train to become an eventual member of the Avengers, Peter Parker is given a "SQUIP"; a nanobot in the form of a hologram that is able to examine every choice Peter makes and give him specialized feedback so he can protect those around him. The only catch is the SQUIP has the looks and personality of Tony Stark. A little fun never hurt anyone, right?


Peter Parker's spidey sense had been nagging at the back of his mind since he woke up this morning, but that isn't worth worrying about right now.

The teenager, clad in a red shirt with a Star Trek insignia on the chest and a pair of worn blue jeans, sits quietly in an immaculate office. The office is the type he had only seen in movies, with a gigantic window taking up the length of an entire wall and carpeting that looks as if it's never once seen so much as the sole of a shoe. Although, to be completely honest, the backlighting makes it a bit difficult to see what's going on in front of him.

"Look, kid, I don't have all day. Let's get this over with." Happy Hogan, just as chipper as ever- which is to say, not at all, sits in a cushy chair behind a large wooden desk across from the boy. His suit, no doubt provided by Stark Industries, just screams 'I have more money than you.' Peter can't help but feel a bit underdressed.

"I mean, I agree. I have a chemistry test later today, and I really shouldn'-" The teen pipes up, but stops talking when Happy shoots him a grim look.

"I'm taking my lunch break in half an hour whether we're done talking or not." Happy, of course, swore to Stark himself that he and Peter wouldn't leave the room until a decision had been made, but he would never let the kid know about that. He has a laundry list of about 200 things he could be doing right now, and the indecision of a teenager isn't going to set him back yet _another_ few hours. After taking the time to pick Peter up from school,drive him to the Avengers HQ, and debrief him on this little experimental 'pet project' of sorts, he'll be lucky to be home by tomorrow's sunrise.

"Oh, right! Am I getting something too? Because my high school always has lunch at 12:30 on Tuesdays, and by the time we get back, they-" Happy shoots him another look. Peter shuts up.

"I brought you here today to discuss an upcoming collaboration project between S.H.I.E.L.D. and Stark Industries. Due to your…" He stares down at a paper on the desk in front of him. After a second of staring it over, he moves it closer to his face, as if to check that he's reading it correctly. "... _exceptional_ performance during recent crises, you've been selected to participate in an experiment to test breakthrough technology unavailable to the mass market."

Peter sort of shrugs it off. "So another suit upgrade? I'm kind of surprised you would bring me all the way out here for something so routine." Karen tells him he needs a software update about every two weeks, but he usually ignores it. Upgrades to the physical suit are a bit more rare, but he's had to get a few things fixed or adjusted here and there. The suit isn't exactly indestructible, and his daily crime-fighting occasionally leads to him wrecking the suit's cooling system or jamming his web-shooters.

"I'm not finished yet." Happy clears his throat. "This project will be known as the S.Q.U.I.P. Initiative, and it was created for the purpose of training possible new recruits to the Avengers team through the use of an 'ingested neuro-biological processor' that will directly inform your each and every decision in real time. In layman's terms, you'll swallow a pill that will put a computer in your brain to help you act like an Avenger. And you're going to be the first one to test it out."

The teen pauses for a moment, trying to take it all in. While he's flattered by the offer, he already told Mr. Stark that he very much preferred superhero work on a small scale. "Wh- you mean- I- you want me to be an Avenger? But I already told Mr. Stark that I wanted to- to-"

Yet again, Happy cuts him off. "Not an Avenger. Well, not _yet._ More like an Avenger _in training._ With this thing, you can finish high school and stay in Queens while being trained. You'll still be able to 'help the little guy' as much as you want. It'll work no matter where you are."

That sounds... pretty convincing, actually. "So… what exactly _is_ the "thing" you want me to take? You said it's like a computer…?" Sure, Peter has heard of implanting computers into the body to do things like regulate heartbeat and such, but _swallowing_ one sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi novel. Dozens of questions begin to flood his mind. Would the computer stay in his brain forever, or would there be a way to remove it? Is it going to have any negative side effects, like, would he have to keep away from strong magnets for fear of scrambling his brain? Would the computer even taste good?

"Basically, the robot-device-thing is going to watch your every move- it'll hear what you hear, see what you see, and sense what you think- it's going to take this data and give you advice on how you should act in order to ensure the safety of those around you. Think of it kind of like using a Bluetooth headset during a chess championship. Someone will feed you all the right moves you need to make to turn your pawn into a king." Happy leans back and puts his feet up on the desk. He's always wanted to do that, but most managers see it as 'unprofessional.'

"I mean, pawns can only be exchanged for queens at best, but-"

Completely ignoring Peter, Happy continues with his spiel. "Due to the 'collaborative' nature of this program, the computer will project a hologram of your mentor that will be visible only to you- Tony Stark, in your case. Every command you receive will come directly from him."

Of course, Tony is behind all this. "So, Mr. Stark will be able to see and hear everything I do, all the time?" To Peter, this could be an invasion of privacy at best, and could potentially reveal all of his innermost secrets at worst. Sure, he tries to be an open book with everything in his life not Spider-Man related, but there are some things that other people just don't need to know about. Like his deep interest in 80's sci-fi movie trivia. Or his extensive Lego figurine collection. Or all the times he's cried himself to sleep, but he'd rather not focus on that. Just basic privacy stuff.

"Well," Happy begins, drawing out the word, "not exactly. He'll only be able to review the audio and video logs for each day when they're uploaded onto the Cloud- which only happens after you go to sleep. From there, he'll be able to adjust the SQUIP's personality if he sees it isn't up to par with what he wants. Machine learning still isn't perfect; we both know what happened with Ultron."

Peter is about to mention that he probably shouldn't be trusted with a computer that maybe has Ultron-like capabilities, but Happy continues before he can speak.

"But, no, Tony won't directly be able to see your surroundings." Happy grabs the paper from before and reads from it. "'If you so choose, you can also give the command "Off" to disable the SQUIP for short periods of time. Due to S.H.I.E.L.D. regulations, the SQUIP must remain on for 95% of the time you're awake.' Geez, who comes up with this?"

This is all a lot to take in, honestly. Peter isn't quite sure if he should be excited or terrified, and frankly he feels a bit of both. Mostly the former, though. Aside from his feelings, the bit about memory only being stored while he's sleeping worries him slightly.

"What if, um, I… don't go to sleep?" With all of the extra-curricular activities Peter is involved in, pulling all-nighters every once in a while is inevitable. Between being on the school's jazz band, academic decathlon team, chemistry club, math team, unofficial science-fiction enthusiasts club (consisting solely of himself and Ned), and being a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, Peter quite literally can't remember the last time he had a full night of rest.

"If you don't get to sleep for whatever reason, a temporary log is available in the Squip's RAM until you fall asleep. Of course, this has a limited amount of space, but by the time that runs out you'll have already fallen asleep unless you're superhuman or some sort of alien species." Happy thinks about that statement for a moment before it hits him. "Wait, how long exactly _can_ you stay awake? You know what, forget about it. Just _try_ and get more than one hour of sleep per week, all right?"

Peter nods, slowly. "Um, right. I'll… do that." His record is nine hours over one week, but that really fried his brain. He doesn't plan on trying _that_ again any time soon.

"Perfect. Then all you need to do is sign this contract, and you'll be good to go." Happy brings his legs down from the desk, digs around in a manilla folder in front of him for a few seconds, and presents a long form to Peter. Just from glancing over the thing, the teen can tell the document is comprised of legal jargon he isn't equipped to understand in the slightest.

Peter tries to read over the contract for a minute, then gives up and turns to Happy for help. "Shouldn't I, um, have a lawyer for this?"

But Happy simply brushes it off. "That isn't necessary. You're only allowing us to, in the words of the S.H.I.E.L.D. legal team, 'implant the SQUIP, access your vision and hearing, and collect and store data for further research and assessment.' Nothing out of the ordinary." Nope, that's a blatant lie. But he trusts Stark enough to know that he wouldn't do anything that would seriously put the kid in danger. S.H.I.E.L.D., on the other hand...

In short, this is all highly illegal. But that hasn't stopped the Avengers before. And, due to being only 15, Peter doesn't quite realize how illegal this all is. But even if he did, he wouldn't care in the slightest. He would do anything in his power, though he doesn't have very much, to protect the citizens of Queens. And the Avengers aren't exactly known for following the will of the government.

But, still, the idea of being watched constantly is kind of really unsettling to Peter. He thinks it over for a moment, mumbling to himself. "Nothing… out of the ordinary." Well, the United States government already watches him through his cell phone and tablet and laptop and through security cameras, so there isn't much more he has to lose. Shit went Orwellian a loooong time ago.

And despite all of the violations of his privacy, this could finally be Peter's chance to become something great. While he wants nothing more than to protect his tiny New York neighborhood, he's certain there might come a time when a threat shows up that the Avengers can't handle on their own. There could be another Loki, or another Ultron, or another Steve Rogers, or _something_ greater than all of them. And, while he still has to complete his high school education, in a few years he'll have the freedom to do whatever he wants with his life. If he starts training now, he would be ready to be a real Avenger by the time he graduates college. Or he can be a better friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

And Tony Stark could help him pay for a PhD, so long as they stay on good terms.

"I'll sign."

"Great!" That was actually a lot faster than Happy was expecting. He might just get that lunch break, after all. "If you have any questions, you can contact either Tony or me, but hopefully you won't need to. Due to S.H.I.E.L.D. regulations, we can't allow you to have access to an instruction manual. We don't need any of this to leak to the public. I know how fond you are of posting on social media."

Sure, Peter posts about Spider-Man on YouTube, but he doesn't post about _being_ Spider-Man. "I would _never_ post about- um, something like that. At least, not under my own name." Wait, does this mean Happy has actually watched his videos? Man, that's awesome! Maybe he should shout him out in the next video, but super duper subtly, so he doesn't get mad.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that. There's just about no physical evidence that anything is going to happen to you. Still, the contract also serves as an NDA, so you aren't allowed to mention that _any of this_ ever happened or the trial will be terminated immediately." Happy hands the boy a fancy fountain pen. Peter has honestly never seen one in real life before. Who still uses fountain pens?

As soon as the teen signs the contract, Happy pulls a small, silver suitcase out from underneath the desk. The suitcase has the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo engraved into it, and has a thick locking mechanism on the top edge. Happy retrieves a keycard from his pocket and swipes it in front of the lock, causing the suitcase to emit a loud _click_ and pop open.

Inside the suitcase is a grey, oblong pill, surrounded by several inches of a thick foam to keep it in place. Peter cautiously reaches over to take the pill, finding it to be surprisingly heavy. That's probably from all of the metal packed into it. He brings the device closer to his face to examine it, thinking that he could maybe learn something about the electronic components inside, but the shell around the nanobot is too thick for him to see anything useful. Something tells Peter that this was done on purpose, and Happy wouldn't be too pleased with him asking about it.

Happy snaps his fingers, and about half a dozen young scientists file into the room, each of them wearing long, flowing lab coats and each clutching a clipboard in their gloved hands. Peter waves to them, but they all seem too engrossed in their work to wave back. Happy offers Peter a bottle of Stark Industries brand water as well as a small glass.

Peter downs the pill with a hearty swig of the water straight from the bottle, slightly surprised to find that the thing tastes… minty? Kind of like super sweet toothpaste. He waits for a few moments, bracing himself for some sort of revelation or maybe a dial-up start sequence, but everything seems completely normal.

Happy is the one to break the silence. "Now, I have to tell you, this might cause you a bit of pain."

"Like, stomach cramps? I'm sure I'll be able to handl-" Suddenly, out of nowhere, a searing pain spreads across Peter's body, starting in the pit of his stomach and snaking through his torso and up to his head. A sharp voice cuts through his confusion, seeming to come from inside his head.

 _SQUIP Version Initializing._

"Agh! -" The teenager lets out a yell and the scientists scribble something down on their clipboards. He feels a bit embarrassed to be the only one freaking out here, but the sharp throbbing in his skull wins over any attempt to remain calm.

Happy, not sure whether to comfort the boy or call for an actual doctor, awkwardly sits back in his chair. He's had years of experience as a security guard, but he's never had to protect someone from an entity that can't be seen or heard. Well, other than Tony's… struggles. But nobody needs to know about that, especially not the kid. "It'll only be another minute."

 _Reticulating splines. Please wait._

Peter looks around the room wildly, searching for the source of the voice. "I keep hearing… _someone._ I don't know. I just- AGH!" Waitwaitwait, Mr. Stark is probably going to see all of this. He _has_ to be more chill, so he can look like hero material.

 _DNA Match: Peter Parker. Optimizing for maximum efficiency. You may experience some mild discomfort._

 _Yikes._ Peter Parker does _not,_ in fact, look like hero material. After another moment passes, his brain feels as if it's being rubbed raw with sandpaper. Happy takes out a pair of foam earplugs and delicately places them in his ears.

The scientists, yet again, go back to writing on their clipboards.

Another minute passes, and the pain subsides. After just a few seconds, Peter feels remarkably better. He takes a deep breath. "I'm- I'm good, everyone." The scientists note this and write it down.

Happy stores the suitcase beneath the desk, along with the unused glass. He isn't really sure what to say, mostly because he didn't actually expect to get this far this quickly. "Oh, it looks like you didn't die. Always a good sign." Happy has never been good at improvising.

"Wait, was that a risk?" Before Happy can answer, a few of the scientists rush over to take his vitals. After ensuring that everything is normal, they quietly file out of the room. One of them hands Peter a small lollipop with the Stark Industries logo on it, like the ones he would get as a child after a doctor's appointment. He gratefully takes it.

Without any warning, a 40-ish year old man in a perfectly-tailored suit appears before the boy from seemingly out of nowhere. The first thing Peter notices about the man is that his chestnut colored hair has a slight blue tint to it. In fact, his entire body appears to have a blue aura surrounding it, giving off a light similar in luminosity to the arc reactor in the human Stark's chest.

Even in SQUIP form, the CEO is on his Blackberry, talking to some unknown entity about something that sounds heavily business-related. "Look, ten million or I'll walk, all right? Figure it out. I have _much_ more important business to attend to. Speaking of which..." He hangs up on the flip-phone and snaps his fingers, causing the device to disappear into a burst of pixels. After taking a second to adjust his mirror sunglasses and striking navy blue tie, he turns to Peter.

With a smile that has quite literally won awards, the SQUIP shoots an eagerly confident look at the young Parker. " _Welcome to your System of Quantum Unification for the Initiation of Polymaths… your SQUIP._ "


End file.
